Short Monologue

It's funny how christmas time always brings out the cheerfulness in others.
How they give money and donate clothes,
give away toys and help others.
The merriment hangs in the air and it feels like time has stood still.
It's like during christmas time we all stand back away from our problems and just take in the holiday.
But ya know,
there's still troubles. There are still problems.
We're still having a hard time with bills and tuitions and life.
Work still sucks, we're still getting nagged to "pick up and help out",
and the world is still the miserable place that it's always been.
But there's christmas trees.
And lights.
Oh lord the lights,
now I gotta go back into that store and get some more lights.
Why? Because my wife told me to,
and if I don't she'll never let me live it down.
Now I have to hold my ears shut and run,
just so I'm in there for even less time.
But of course the lines will be up through the aisles and racks of clothes.
Why do we all come here?
To look for the best price,
because when we're getting presents we don't need for people we don't like,
we want to be cheap.
The lowest price is the best right?
Because Mattel hasn't sold enough toxic toys for tots quite yet.
But then, call me a hippocrite, I'm here like the rest of those screaming parents,
crying babies in the shopping carts,
and employees that can't even speak english.
So, no, I don't have any change to spare,
because I've given up on this stupid time,
time for family, sharing, love, happiness, harmony.
It never works out the right way anyways.
The ham is still overcooked,
the potatoes aren't seasoned,
the gravy's burnt,
and that stupid baby just screams through the whole meal.
Why would I want to help someone else?
I'm too busy drowning in my own misery,
too busy putting up the tree and putting on the ornaments.
Too busy pounding my thumb with a hammer while I attempt to attach the lights to the house.
What's your cause anyways?
I mean it's not like I've ever SEEN the salvation army go give clothes.
Or shelter. Or money.
It's probably just some stupid business trying to steal our tax dollars that we slave for hours over just to give away.
So you know what,
I'm not wasting any more money than I've already given to hand over to a stupid woman in a fat coat and a stocking cap just to be "merry" and "in the spirit".
So go ahead, continue ringing that bell.
I'll be out after I've got those damned lights.
Bah Humbug.